Mark Twain once said – “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why” 

The why here represents the underlying meaning that governs one’s life. When we don’t have a meaning attached to a goal – 

we are unable to find the motivation to achieve it, experience lack of fulfilment,  or feel lost and stuck, or even just have a general sense of meaninglessness –  In such a case what is it that we need to pay attention to? 

One can get clues to the deeper issue that’s being signalled by looking at the way this lack of meaning plays out. 
 
For instance, 
are you working towards a goal for the wrong reasons -  
just for the numbing, feeling safe, external validation and not for true connection? 
Or, to appease someone and not for your own innate pleasure? 
Or, are you ashamed and afraid to express and feel your true desire (from a childhood conditioning), 
 
rather than for your own sense of fulfilment, achievement and pleasure? 
 If any of these is the case one can easily feel not their best.   

A Story to deep dive further 

A philosophy professor once stood up before his class with a large empty mayonnaise jar. He filled the jar to the top with large rocks and asked his students if the jar was full. 

His students all agreed the jar was full.  He then added small pebbles to the jar and gave the jar a bit of a shake so the pebbles could disperse themselves among the larger rocks. Then he asked again, “Is the jar full now?” 

The students agreed that the jar was still full.  The professor then poured sand into the jar to fill up all the remaining empty space.  The students then agreed again that the jar was full.  The Metaphor: In this story, the jar represents your life, and the rocks, pebbles, and sand are the things that fill up your life. 

The rocks represent the most important projects and things you have going on, such as spending time with your family and maintaining proper health. This means that if the pebbles and the sand were lost, the jar would still be full and your life would still have meaning. 

The pebbles represent the things in your life that matter, but that you could live without.  The pebbles are certainly things that give your life meaning (such as your job, house, hobbies, and friendships), but they are not critical for you to have a meaningful life.  These things often come and go, and are not permanent or essential to your overall well-being. 

Finally, the sand represents the remaining filler things in your life and material possessions. This could be small things such as watching television, browsing through your favourite social media site, or running errands. 

These things don’t mean much to your life as a whole and are likely only done to waste time or get small tasks accomplished. 

The Moral: The metaphor here is that if you start with putting sand into the jar, you will not have room for rocks or pebbles. This holds true with the things you let into your life. If you spend all of your time on the small and insignificant things, you will run out of room for the things that are actually important. In order to have a more effective and efficient life, pay attention to the “rocks,” because they are critical to your long-term well-being. 

Introspection: The question comes how does one determine what will fall under rocks, pebbles and sand category in life as illustrated in this story. This is where meaning plays major role as one of the elements in life. Meaning that has a huge role to play while working on a goal, issue, or plan. It further has 3 sub-elements 

1. Priority of the Goal: This refers to the urgency aspect. Anything that’s not a priority loses its meaning and vice versa. 
2. Direction we choose: Past, Present, or Future can support us find the direction of the choices we want to make. 
3. Clarity of thought: Deeper understanding in our conscious and sub-conscious mind about the way this goal adds meaning and purpose to our life 

It would be worthwhile to pause and reflect on Meaning related questions, some of them are stated below:  

• How do you assess meaning of what constitutes your life? 
• What are the key priorities in your life? 
• What narrative comes to your mind while you look at the picture in the card? 
• What aspect of your inner being can enable you to reach closer to your goal?  

MERAKI, a coaching tool is designed in the form of a deck of cards has the potential to enable one to find answers and take one’s life to the next level in such cases where meaning is missing. MERAKI is also an acronym for various elements – Meaning, Energy, Relationship, Attention, Knowledge and Innovation.